Something i forgot to write on the 8 of August, it's world papa's day(actually, it's just a fathers' day for people in Taiwan), and as well, it's a day for the Bodhisattva of the Hell, i got this chance to read the post of my friend in facebook, saying it's very good to do good deed and eat vege on this very special day.
And for my case, it's is my resting day that day. In fact, i was rested from large animal ward volunteering for the last day. Reasons? Was to see the doctors according to the appointment made before. Moreover i also went for my dental checkup for i had not been there for more than a year. At the moment, there were 3 teeth of mine that require to be fixed.
Anyway, for the most important thing to be jotted down was, mum and sis were here to stay over for 1 night. Before the night, actually , Jou Enn also came to my house for visiting and the best part of the week was we have 1 day of holiday on Monday and i could do the cleaning for my house before my mum and sis visited my house.
For the previous weekend up to the 8 Aug, i believe whole members of Malaysia was in a nervous state whenever there were the tournament of badminton in Olympic 2012. Dato Lee was indeed did his best to gain the highest prize he could get as this is a noble and respectable action of his, attempting to fight Lin Dan after his leg injury 2 months ago. How brave and inspiring, this man is...... And for all the atletes of Malaysia, their sporting spirits in the games, it's worth while for the well known expensive ice-cream "Baskin Robin" to give away free one scoop of ice-cream per person from 8pm to 10pm at all d outlets on this special day.
In Mandrin, 8 Aug, 8-8, "baba" is a good and ong number, which means prosperous and wealthy.
In short, 8 August is really a wonderful day to remember, and yes, here i came, small animal ward, it's time to start the challenges now. Hee-haa!!! =D
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Saturday, June 30, 2012
1st Half Year Ending Point VS 2nd Half Year Beginnning Point Of The Year 2012...
30 June 2012, how fast? This marks the end of the 1st half year of 2012. Today is a sunny Saturday, and i started it with a sunny mood either. Funny things is, i was able to wake up around 10.30a.m. with a happy mood and mum din wake me up earlier cause she knew that i slept late last night. Yep, as late as around 1a.m.
Mentioning about my dream, i dreamt about 2 tigers which fight for me... Metaphor for the previous sentence, only me know who i mentioned as "tigers" because they are my "i-know-who", XD !Of course both of them are considered quite important to me, that's why i do feel happy and a bit frustrate to see they fight for me. Happy was because i meant something to them, but frustrate was because i din expect and hope to see people fight, especially because of me... Amitabha, it's my fault, my guilt...
Just now watched a singing competition show live from 8TV, impressed and touched by the 3 female young ladies, all are 19 years old this year. So it's seems to be already expected by my mum, the winner is Catherine, a lovely girl with a powerful voice. Anyway, i wish all of them to be able to achieve their dreams and become great artist in the future.
Suddenly felt a bit scary just now, that this year time really really flies, especially in a most quickly mode. Here we are, in less than 15 minutes, it will mark the end of June 2012. Nevertheless, living is to walk the current point of life. No matter what had happened previously, also, it has no point to think of what might be the changes in the future, now i know what i need to do is focus study, so goodnight to all and let's pray for the starting point of the coming 2nd half part of year 2012 to be an awesome one and then we all work towards it hand-by-hand!
Mentioning about my dream, i dreamt about 2 tigers which fight for me... Metaphor for the previous sentence, only me know who i mentioned as "tigers" because they are my "i-know-who", XD !Of course both of them are considered quite important to me, that's why i do feel happy and a bit frustrate to see they fight for me. Happy was because i meant something to them, but frustrate was because i din expect and hope to see people fight, especially because of me... Amitabha, it's my fault, my guilt...
Just now watched a singing competition show live from 8TV, impressed and touched by the 3 female young ladies, all are 19 years old this year. So it's seems to be already expected by my mum, the winner is Catherine, a lovely girl with a powerful voice. Anyway, i wish all of them to be able to achieve their dreams and become great artist in the future.
Suddenly felt a bit scary just now, that this year time really really flies, especially in a most quickly mode. Here we are, in less than 15 minutes, it will mark the end of June 2012. Nevertheless, living is to walk the current point of life. No matter what had happened previously, also, it has no point to think of what might be the changes in the future, now i know what i need to do is focus study, so goodnight to all and let's pray for the starting point of the coming 2nd half part of year 2012 to be an awesome one and then we all work towards it hand-by-hand!
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Speedy Thoughts
09.50p.m., presently sitting on a bed at Sun Inns which located right opposite to KTM Serdang. It's nearly half month of June, and fathers' day is just around in corner(this Sunday). Feeling funny though, somehow long time ago, i sort of already "marked" this hotel. Yep, just in case, me and my mum or my rela have to spend a night like this, staying in an inn.
Supposingly, this post was initiated 2 nights ago(means on last Wed), but anyhow, my keys on keyboard were all like being enchanted, all the keys were not at their original location, means eg: when i typed "j" key, it came out with a letter of "k" at the monitor screen. HOW AWKWARD? Anyway, for that night, i dared not continue to compose the post. Scary, i agreed.
In the end, the post end up to be completed on today, a sunny Friday. =) And thank goodness, things are doing well, i got my homaniac T-shirt by yesterday, as well as, my laptop keyboards are all back into their normal state (which i am grateful for the most). If not mistaken, last night i also had some sweet dreams although i can't recall what are they right now. =P
I won't like to discuss what kind of magical senses here, coz somehow, still, i doubt if they are reasonable to be discussed here. More likely, i believe in logical hypothesis of " Different space of location and time will match up to a different formula of a person lifetime". Reality lifetime, i mean. And through seeing others experiences, we can also visualise our past or future, as they play a role of a mirror, showing the characteristics we want or dislike. Most of time, the mirror shows things we do not want.
In fact, the speed of different people, will result in different speed of thinkings too. That, which has high possibilites to cause arguement or disagreement of an issue are probably and commonly due to this differences. Once the frequency of thinking are able to be set to the same, or to be dealed with tolerance, many quarrel, especially small and nonsense thoughts are surely able to be settled.
Yup, things to be shared today, speed of thinking needed to be control to the reasonable level. End of story, thanks for reading.
Supposingly, this post was initiated 2 nights ago(means on last Wed), but anyhow, my keys on keyboard were all like being enchanted, all the keys were not at their original location, means eg: when i typed "j" key, it came out with a letter of "k" at the monitor screen. HOW AWKWARD? Anyway, for that night, i dared not continue to compose the post. Scary, i agreed.
In the end, the post end up to be completed on today, a sunny Friday. =) And thank goodness, things are doing well, i got my homaniac T-shirt by yesterday, as well as, my laptop keyboards are all back into their normal state (which i am grateful for the most). If not mistaken, last night i also had some sweet dreams although i can't recall what are they right now. =P
I won't like to discuss what kind of magical senses here, coz somehow, still, i doubt if they are reasonable to be discussed here. More likely, i believe in logical hypothesis of " Different space of location and time will match up to a different formula of a person lifetime". Reality lifetime, i mean. And through seeing others experiences, we can also visualise our past or future, as they play a role of a mirror, showing the characteristics we want or dislike. Most of time, the mirror shows things we do not want.
In fact, the speed of different people, will result in different speed of thinkings too. That, which has high possibilites to cause arguement or disagreement of an issue are probably and commonly due to this differences. Once the frequency of thinking are able to be set to the same, or to be dealed with tolerance, many quarrel, especially small and nonsense thoughts are surely able to be settled.
Yup, things to be shared today, speed of thinking needed to be control to the reasonable level. End of story, thanks for reading.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Just BefOrE TOOO LaTe~
9th of June, a Saturday supposingly filled with happiness but i doubt why, since this morning, somehow i could sense the inner negative energy of me after coming back from visiting few poor people from Taiwan Tzu Chi Buddhist Foundation. Not to mean to blame them for creating the field of negative energy but it’s my fault i suppose, that i fear my negativity might influence the others, such as like the transferring of energy.
Seriously, i never mean to pass any stress or any negative thoughts or energy field to the others. Anyhow, i cannot deny that i did released my sense of irritation towards my mum today. Erm, such a disobedient girl, i do not mind u claim me like that, cause it is the truth I can’t deny.
Wonder if it’s due to the problem of the weather ( i know i am not suppose to blame anything, but i cannot deny this might be one of the possibilities or factors that also affecting my emotions), the hot and humid air could easily flare up my frustration and fear of course, the fear that i afraid to hurt anybody with any body languages i showed.
Meanwhile, tonight has a Cantonese movie which is pretty old yet touching called: “ The story of Ah Lang”. It managed to let me blow my nose with mucus and tears dropping. It is a story about a single father raised his son and after that the mother who came back from US wanted to bring the son back to US. Anyhow the last part of the movie is the father took part in a motorcycle racing and eventually dead as there was an accident at the last lap of the game. Of course, the ending of the story is a sad and pity ending. Anyway, the moral i think i can get from the movie is to treasure the people we care of as much as possible while we still have the ability and please do not wait until someone we love already pass away then only we start to care. By that time, it could be too late already.
Hence, to all, may i say i love u to u? Just before it’s too late~ =P,take care and all d best to u ya~
Seriously, i never mean to pass any stress or any negative thoughts or energy field to the others. Anyhow, i cannot deny that i did released my sense of irritation towards my mum today. Erm, such a disobedient girl, i do not mind u claim me like that, cause it is the truth I can’t deny.
Wonder if it’s due to the problem of the weather ( i know i am not suppose to blame anything, but i cannot deny this might be one of the possibilities or factors that also affecting my emotions), the hot and humid air could easily flare up my frustration and fear of course, the fear that i afraid to hurt anybody with any body languages i showed.
Meanwhile, tonight has a Cantonese movie which is pretty old yet touching called: “ The story of Ah Lang”. It managed to let me blow my nose with mucus and tears dropping. It is a story about a single father raised his son and after that the mother who came back from US wanted to bring the son back to US. Anyhow the last part of the movie is the father took part in a motorcycle racing and eventually dead as there was an accident at the last lap of the game. Of course, the ending of the story is a sad and pity ending. Anyway, the moral i think i can get from the movie is to treasure the people we care of as much as possible while we still have the ability and please do not wait until someone we love already pass away then only we start to care. By that time, it could be too late already.
Hence, to all, may i say i love u to u? Just before it’s too late~ =P,take care and all d best to u ya~
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Screwed up...
Have u ever feel of wanna talk to sumone but unable to do so due to some reasons, that u gta "swallow back" the opinion urself or experience the feeling i am feeling now--> constriction of my feeling... hanging around the air now, but dunno how to express it out... i mean dare not to express it out...
That was how i felt last 5-7 months i think... Wanted to express some sort of feelings, but need to halt it at the tip of my lips from coming out... And then again, had to reverse all the words that almost to be voiced on the screen...
The courage, to initial a talk like last time, it's no longer that simple,especially after i dared myself to tell him how i felt. Wonder if that was a good or bad choice of doing so? The choice to allow him know how i feel? I think that feeling was not as bad as what i am feeling right now, right??? Letting him know how i feel about him is one thing, that i can recall, i was very scare to tell him and fear of the feeling especially knowing the fact that when it was getting close to know how was his response. But then , hey miss:since u already know tat guy gt a gal he likes, what u would be expecting? Be ready then... I know i am still and was very stubborn(if to think negatively), but determined? Or keeping on to be slightly positive? i dunno... Anyhow, i insited to ask for a reconfirmation, since he dunno how to answer a Yes or No question... LOL~~~
Things was still going on well, until up to date, today(1st Sept) i think?? Up to this night, at least until just now, that i felt things was alright, before i saw he posted in FB wall, saying wanted to "GTFO"... Am i that ANNOYED that he dare not told me from face to face that he's getting fed up to chat with me? Tell u wat, i rather u told me seriously and frankly than that u discuss behind me about my good and bad... Wonder if u are still wanting to protect ur own good image that u chose to "accidentally" let me know by commenting in ppl's wall like that so that i could coincidently "saw" it and stopped from "haunting" u?
But i really wondered: was it my problem for din asking u ur convenience to chat? However i remember i did asked, din i? I caan remember we did discussed before that, to be friends, must at least be honest and sincere with each other, isn't it? Now i need to start recall back our previous chat online, how many times that u really talked to me sincerely? I remember well during the last chat u told me : "PLUS YOU ARE TOO INNOCENT..." So? What was the point u wanted to bring out? That i was unable to differentiate who was being sincere and who was lying? I dunno anything about that, please, do tell me... =( if you were to meant my innocent is acting childish, perhaps u are right, but i dun feel anything wrong if i were to keep a sincere and genuine child-like thinking... Isn't it the children qualities of being able to be honest and able to simplified the thoughts is something what the ppl in the tired adult world desire of? Having a childish mind is not making the brain tired, because with the child heart, tat one can continue being curious and treat everyone equally without any bias...
Nevertherless, seriously at that night my heart was hurt, not because of the bad words, but because someone is not able to talk to me honestly, as if i m someone too soft hearted to take the words frankly from him... Just that moment, the negative emotions overwhelmed me,besides the sadness surged my brain, i realised the anger also sort of uncontrollably filled every single cells of mine. Nothing i could do but to end the conversation, feeling together the sense of being humiliated due to being discussed like an alien falling onto the earth. Sorry, but i really couldn't help it at that moment but to leave to grasp some air, please at least, please leave me some space to get away from there....
There was some seconds at tat moment such a thought did came to my mine: SKREWED UP, U ARE SCREWED UP... IS THERE STILL A POSSIBLITY TO KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP?? i know, due to my long-windedness, i finally irritated him... sure i was screwed up, not even being able to dare to talk with him again, or i might annoy hi some more... there' tat moment i blocked him and place him another side, just because i am not sure if i was able to stop myself from not to disturb him again, inorder to play safe... learn how to detach was and is a must...
But seriously to be honest, i hope tat we are still friends, at least can be the one who can share life opinions without any bias, that since i did being honest with you after the incident, i hope and appreciate if you were honest in interaction too! =) all the best to our friendship, to something pure genuine and without much adult life contamination, cheers~~ =) take care too
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Soulmate, do you hear me??
Due to it was just after test and in order to release stress, i've decided to go to watch leehom's latest movie finally...I can recall that moment well: the class was ended earlier on the monday evening, my heart was totally unable to be controlled. My desired overwhelmed me, said:" anyhow, since there's a chance, you have to grab it now.. If not, it would be:"it's now or never..."
Eventually, my body surrendered to my strong little whispers. Hurrily, i rode back home, din even managed to got change but there, rush to catch up with the show before 5.30pm at Balakong Jusco, the only nearest cinema that has the movie on screen.
Perhaps the movie was still new, or lack of frequent promotion by the media(except for myfm); or maybe because it was a working monday evening, when i got there the cinema was quite empty. Good thing to me also, i was able to get a comfortable middle seat, what a lucky evening.
"LOVE IN DISGUISE" as what the title has try to tell us, Lee Hom did had some several funky and funny looks in the movie... Isn't it's hard to believe that what LeeHom think in his casual life as a celebrity, he was able to link those little thoughts together and then presented them to us in his 1st directing movie??Amazing, isn't it?
When watching the movie, 100% of me believe that he was actually just trying to tell us something he was experiencing in his general life. For example:
1) perhaps sometimes, the paparazzi or the tension given by the media when questioning or interuptting his daily life were all quite annoying to him? (No wonder in the fim, there's one scene showed that he could even have a wild thought to give the person who asked him silly questions a punch on the face...)
2) the role he played in the movie, "Du Ming Han" is also a singer (like what he is in the reality), famous and always have millions and thousands of fans who support him. But at the end, it doesn't matter how famous or how many fans an artist can be or have, when back to the normal life, they are just merely a human being that need loves and soulmates, someone who really understand him/her. -->no matter how noble or how high the status a person is, there's always the basic love and care a human needs..
3) soulmate is hard to find... If u do found one, please dun let each other go, PLEASE...Seriously, i really like LeeHom's movie this time because he's trying to ring up the alertness in all of us: "HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR SOULMATE??"Before we go far to discuss the point, let us define soulmate, what is soulmate means to u??
To me, soulmates are the ppl who can understand each other well, it can be opposite sex or the same sex. But if it's opposite sex, won't it's great for both to get together? Some ppl may think:nah, it won't be fun if u know each other too much, there will be lack of the sense of mystery...
But look, do u seriously wanna love life that is fun and full with mysterious of both party,ended up due to not being able to understand and tolerate each other at all and break up?Or u wanna have some kind of relationship which both of u have went through all the joys and downfall,and then walked back to the brighten life again together in the end? Along the way, you will find out each other would be the one whom you have looked for for long:as you know you search for each other gradually,slowly and carefully, you know: you are not being childishly or blindly falling for each others...
Do u enjoy both of you sharing the similar or exactly the same dream and passion to do watever u both like, helping out each other on the path of growing up; encouraging and supporting each other? Simple love life though sound dull, but it's the most stabilised and most unbreakable just simply because you know each other very very very very very... WELL. The very-well understanding can even allow you to accept each other weaknesses and negative elements as, you know, you know the person's habits or the personalities well for long...Simply because you are not tolerating each other but understanding and getting used to each others life styles and appreciating each others, you can hardly get a fight... But yet, you can always give each other a surprise, just to add some spice to the "so-called dull and bored life" ,though u say so, you know the life with each other is never a boredom because you enjoy talking with each other, you share the similar thoughts and you will find it a miracle how the person next to you can understand what are you thinking right now or how do you feel now that he/she will adequately console you when you need it the most...
Well, simply because both of you are soulmates, the one and only pair made in the world. The hardest found pair in the world , that the percentage of being able to find each other is just 0.0000001%, yet you found each other. So what are you waiting for?? Give each other a big hug or a big kiss and please be grateful that each other is still alive...
A personal experience to share: few years back i did thought that i found my soulmate(of oppose sex), that we could end up the night chatting until midnights, that i thought he might be the one i was carefully searching for. Too bad, the karmma started when the attachment deposited and the "i like" feeling started to spark, yet we did just have common and normal talk without single emotion of flirting or any other non-serious topics of discussion...
Guess it's the greed had surged me when the feeling had deepened? Suppose i should know any other further craving of interactions is something i should forbid myself from trying to go further??Somehow i could sense that things has been obviously goes wrong... that i start to be unable to control or stopping my desire to keep on sharing my life with him, that i neglected that those actions might irritate or had become disturbance to him? Eventhough i did not have the intention to cause trouble to him, my fault and my unawareness and unmindfulness has lead to some sort of undesirable consequences. Blame who? Nobody,nobody but myself..
Anyhow, here,writing this post, i would like to apologise for whatever i did and troublesome you, if you do accidentally read this post. =) But, i sincerely do hope that i can still able to keep a wonderful soulmate like you, sorry and take care...
Eventually, my body surrendered to my strong little whispers. Hurrily, i rode back home, din even managed to got change but there, rush to catch up with the show before 5.30pm at Balakong Jusco, the only nearest cinema that has the movie on screen.
Perhaps the movie was still new, or lack of frequent promotion by the media(except for myfm); or maybe because it was a working monday evening, when i got there the cinema was quite empty. Good thing to me also, i was able to get a comfortable middle seat, what a lucky evening.
"LOVE IN DISGUISE" as what the title has try to tell us, Lee Hom did had some several funky and funny looks in the movie... Isn't it's hard to believe that what LeeHom think in his casual life as a celebrity, he was able to link those little thoughts together and then presented them to us in his 1st directing movie??Amazing, isn't it?
When watching the movie, 100% of me believe that he was actually just trying to tell us something he was experiencing in his general life. For example:
1) perhaps sometimes, the paparazzi or the tension given by the media when questioning or interuptting his daily life were all quite annoying to him? (No wonder in the fim, there's one scene showed that he could even have a wild thought to give the person who asked him silly questions a punch on the face...)
2) the role he played in the movie, "Du Ming Han" is also a singer (like what he is in the reality), famous and always have millions and thousands of fans who support him. But at the end, it doesn't matter how famous or how many fans an artist can be or have, when back to the normal life, they are just merely a human being that need loves and soulmates, someone who really understand him/her. -->no matter how noble or how high the status a person is, there's always the basic love and care a human needs..
3) soulmate is hard to find... If u do found one, please dun let each other go, PLEASE...Seriously, i really like LeeHom's movie this time because he's trying to ring up the alertness in all of us: "HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR SOULMATE??"Before we go far to discuss the point, let us define soulmate, what is soulmate means to u??
To me, soulmates are the ppl who can understand each other well, it can be opposite sex or the same sex. But if it's opposite sex, won't it's great for both to get together? Some ppl may think:nah, it won't be fun if u know each other too much, there will be lack of the sense of mystery...
But look, do u seriously wanna love life that is fun and full with mysterious of both party,ended up due to not being able to understand and tolerate each other at all and break up?Or u wanna have some kind of relationship which both of u have went through all the joys and downfall,and then walked back to the brighten life again together in the end? Along the way, you will find out each other would be the one whom you have looked for for long:as you know you search for each other gradually,slowly and carefully, you know: you are not being childishly or blindly falling for each others...
Do u enjoy both of you sharing the similar or exactly the same dream and passion to do watever u both like, helping out each other on the path of growing up; encouraging and supporting each other? Simple love life though sound dull, but it's the most stabilised and most unbreakable just simply because you know each other very very very very very... WELL. The very-well understanding can even allow you to accept each other weaknesses and negative elements as, you know, you know the person's habits or the personalities well for long...Simply because you are not tolerating each other but understanding and getting used to each others life styles and appreciating each others, you can hardly get a fight... But yet, you can always give each other a surprise, just to add some spice to the "so-called dull and bored life" ,though u say so, you know the life with each other is never a boredom because you enjoy talking with each other, you share the similar thoughts and you will find it a miracle how the person next to you can understand what are you thinking right now or how do you feel now that he/she will adequately console you when you need it the most...
Well, simply because both of you are soulmates, the one and only pair made in the world. The hardest found pair in the world , that the percentage of being able to find each other is just 0.0000001%, yet you found each other. So what are you waiting for?? Give each other a big hug or a big kiss and please be grateful that each other is still alive...
A personal experience to share: few years back i did thought that i found my soulmate(of oppose sex), that we could end up the night chatting until midnights, that i thought he might be the one i was carefully searching for. Too bad, the karmma started when the attachment deposited and the "i like" feeling started to spark, yet we did just have common and normal talk without single emotion of flirting or any other non-serious topics of discussion...
Guess it's the greed had surged me when the feeling had deepened? Suppose i should know any other further craving of interactions is something i should forbid myself from trying to go further??Somehow i could sense that things has been obviously goes wrong... that i start to be unable to control or stopping my desire to keep on sharing my life with him, that i neglected that those actions might irritate or had become disturbance to him? Eventhough i did not have the intention to cause trouble to him, my fault and my unawareness and unmindfulness has lead to some sort of undesirable consequences. Blame who? Nobody,nobody but myself..
Anyhow, here,writing this post, i would like to apologise for whatever i did and troublesome you, if you do accidentally read this post. =) But, i sincerely do hope that i can still able to keep a wonderful soulmate like you, sorry and take care...
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Falling for someone in campus?
Yesterday i attended the Friday dharmma class, and due to some reasons, Dr Phang ,the speaker did not turn up that night so eventually those who attended the class were divided into groups and did some interesting discussion. Actually we were asked to look for the answer to the 3 questions:
1) How do u know that u are falling into a romantic love?
2) Is it ok to fall in love in campus?
3) Your opinion towards pre-marital sex.
I wonder whether is it lucky for me or not, previously when little, i got plenty of secret crushes, which i think it's rather "liking an idol" kind of like/admire. Seriously, somehow i think due to my family background, i never let myself to be easily fallen for anyone until i met with him/ or u (if u know who i mean, and happen to read this...), that since matric, the feelings is progressively deepened...And should i say thanks to u? -->ya, and i think that i feel i m now learning and growing more mature from the experiences and the emotions i had gone through from then, till now... =) thanks again...
How do i know if i fell for someone? I just know! =D, duh, it's not the normal attachment to one but this is so called "glue" to him d... We started with great conversation tat i never thought we were flirting or anything. Instead, he gave me really helpful aids as how a senior occured to give to a junior...Wonder if he would still remember of those moments, when we have a great chat together that sometimes, i would had unaware of the curfew my mum set for me, and broke the curfew for most of the time, just to chat, for ur information... So it shows now that i am nobody but merely a gal and perhaps worse, a disobedient daughter who once if has fallen for someone, would be stubbornly attached to it...?? Unbelievable, isn't it? From matric till now, that would be nearly 5yrs if it's to this end of the year, close to Christmas, that is when we were firstly got to know of each other...Seriously, i also dunno how I walk through this few year, particularly from when i started to know i got certain feelings towards him, then deeply fallen for him, then confirmly sure that i was fallen deeply for him and then feel very unease and shy when communication with him(especially when the heart beats extremely fast when talking of certain sensitive topics, as i would like to guess how he felt for me, and always curious of if he also had such feeling towards me... ).
Hence then, i always hope to get a chance to know how he felt towards me, and consequently, i knew that he likes someone whom that someone, was and is not me.Too badly, knowing that i got some evil sites to be exposed, the way i used to test his status also was kinda evil. Still remember well (i do), how did i got the chance to ask him about his crush and made myself overwhelmed by heat and blushed when some questioned being answered as though "she" was me, but the feeling of being pouring by someone with a pail of cold icing water from the top of your head to the bottom of ur feet surge into my heart once i realised from the answer he's younger than "her" and that "her" is not me... Sudden awakening, isn't this is what it is all about?
The incidence was when i was in the 1st year or near second year, still young and naif(towards this kind of thing), but that evening, I remember even though my tears did not fall, but some silly thing that had been done by me--> isolated myself from the hostel and went out to the carpark with the nature area, telling myself that i suppose to cry, if not to cry, then at least, maybe i should wish and pray for his happiness with her... Thanks to him again, i had a chance met with a big sister who is a medical Dr. now. And thanks to her for consoling me that time, as well as accompanying me for gaining some calmness after the shock, and hence, felt much better after that evening...
Knowing that news was not the end of the story. From then, i kept the feeling to him within myself and some of my best pals but dare not to let him know. Why? I knew that the possibility for us to get to be together has gone down to the bottom of the down site. This is the more critical time that i 've gta keep this to myself or i might lose him even as a friend, though. I missed the moment when he introduced me the song of Taylor Swift " Tears drop on my guitar" and explained of how pity the gal in the lyric was, and my heart went "Gosh, why must it is you who tell me the meaning of the song?" Still, even though :drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see ...... And yep, till now my answer is remain the same: i prefer a piano than a guitar... ;)
Going to 3rd year for him and 2nd yr for me, things started to be changed between us, especially when he's seemed to be busier and busier while after i knew that it's kinda hard for us to go further, i tended to try not to craving to him too much but focus on my activities and events that i sometimes over-focus to the activities till i neglected studies... Here, i would like to admit that it's my fault over-involving in the activities until wat had happened in my 2nd yr had been occured... But, most of the activities i involved in, i never feel regret for joining them, though...
And things has been going along this few sems after that...Which i thought that my feeling to him would not be faded(Actually it's not yet faded, but slightly reduced as with the addition of more rasional and unconditioned love inside, lolx and i do suspect it's a habit to love as well, hehe~~), along the way, what worried me no longer present (the "fear" of he will not even be my friend or he would have avoiding me after he knew how i felt for him ) as i managed to found out he still getting along well with a junior who confess her feeling to him--> impressive huh?
Perhaps i would feel awkward because of the gal dignity/ego/arrogant in me that i possess since young. Thinking of a normal gal should never lowered her dignity for confessing toward a guy, and MUST wait for a guy to initiate that step had stopped me from telling him how i felt for such a long long time... But then, that i found out we might possibly with a high chance to stay being friends, the worries no more, thus i braved myself to wrote to him and told him how my feelings towards him for so long...Boy, that letter was long indeed~~ =) In fact, i purposely chose an April's fool day to tell him, as a backup: if he can't accept it, i would have just tell him that was a joke i was kidding him.
The result appeared to me was he sounded unsure of the possibility but then after a second confirmation required, i got a "no" as the answer, plus the condition he said he is not good at such a kind of thing...So? Of course we still remain as friends till now, and to be honest, i was kinda upset when seeing him upset too...(if he knows) Knowing his feeling from his blog, i am not sure how's the progress between him and her, but i do sense his feeling and craving for her as i m oso in the condition to wear the same shoes as his... But what can i do actually? Besides praying for his happiness and encouraging him? Is there anymore things that i can do to show my concern towards him? I know, he doesn't like much of people to be busy body, and i dun wanna show my "over-concerning" or he would thought of me being just a "kepo" or someone who interupting ppl's privacy... Should i remain at the same step and just praying for his happiness with her? Only if she can appreciate him well? Anyway as long as they are happy, i will be happy for them... Ya, think that's all i can do... and writing this blog is just some sort of diary i would like to keep a record for my life... Din had the mood to sleep again, u know la, a peaceful night with sentimental songs can tend to bring in lots of emo feelings in oneself, especially emo ppl like me... no choice~~ Please do allow me to express my feelings here, thanks.
To draw a conclusion, actually it's can be said as easy and not easy to notice if you really love someone, or that's just rather merely admire or simply like. And to know if it's ok or not to fall in love of someone in campus, well if u were also in the condition i had faced, frankly speaking, it's ok if u can manage your love life and study life and make ur love life to be your motivation, but if you are the one who is like me--> emotional and unable to control of it, suggestion is to halt the feeling and focus of ur study now... Like what i am trying to train myself to be now...finished writing my blog and hopefully can get rid of it someday, soon, once if it can be diluted~~ good luck, all~~
1) How do u know that u are falling into a romantic love?
2) Is it ok to fall in love in campus?
3) Your opinion towards pre-marital sex.
I wonder whether is it lucky for me or not, previously when little, i got plenty of secret crushes, which i think it's rather "liking an idol" kind of like/admire. Seriously, somehow i think due to my family background, i never let myself to be easily fallen for anyone until i met with him/ or u (if u know who i mean, and happen to read this...), that since matric, the feelings is progressively deepened...And should i say thanks to u? -->ya, and i think that i feel i m now learning and growing more mature from the experiences and the emotions i had gone through from then, till now... =) thanks again...
How do i know if i fell for someone? I just know! =D, duh, it's not the normal attachment to one but this is so called "glue" to him d... We started with great conversation tat i never thought we were flirting or anything. Instead, he gave me really helpful aids as how a senior occured to give to a junior...Wonder if he would still remember of those moments, when we have a great chat together that sometimes, i would had unaware of the curfew my mum set for me, and broke the curfew for most of the time, just to chat, for ur information... So it shows now that i am nobody but merely a gal and perhaps worse, a disobedient daughter who once if has fallen for someone, would be stubbornly attached to it...?? Unbelievable, isn't it? From matric till now, that would be nearly 5yrs if it's to this end of the year, close to Christmas, that is when we were firstly got to know of each other...Seriously, i also dunno how I walk through this few year, particularly from when i started to know i got certain feelings towards him, then deeply fallen for him, then confirmly sure that i was fallen deeply for him and then feel very unease and shy when communication with him(especially when the heart beats extremely fast when talking of certain sensitive topics, as i would like to guess how he felt for me, and always curious of if he also had such feeling towards me... ).
Hence then, i always hope to get a chance to know how he felt towards me, and consequently, i knew that he likes someone whom that someone, was and is not me.Too badly, knowing that i got some evil sites to be exposed, the way i used to test his status also was kinda evil. Still remember well (i do), how did i got the chance to ask him about his crush and made myself overwhelmed by heat and blushed when some questioned being answered as though "she" was me, but the feeling of being pouring by someone with a pail of cold icing water from the top of your head to the bottom of ur feet surge into my heart once i realised from the answer he's younger than "her" and that "her" is not me... Sudden awakening, isn't this is what it is all about?
The incidence was when i was in the 1st year or near second year, still young and naif(towards this kind of thing), but that evening, I remember even though my tears did not fall, but some silly thing that had been done by me--> isolated myself from the hostel and went out to the carpark with the nature area, telling myself that i suppose to cry, if not to cry, then at least, maybe i should wish and pray for his happiness with her... Thanks to him again, i had a chance met with a big sister who is a medical Dr. now. And thanks to her for consoling me that time, as well as accompanying me for gaining some calmness after the shock, and hence, felt much better after that evening...
Knowing that news was not the end of the story. From then, i kept the feeling to him within myself and some of my best pals but dare not to let him know. Why? I knew that the possibility for us to get to be together has gone down to the bottom of the down site. This is the more critical time that i 've gta keep this to myself or i might lose him even as a friend, though. I missed the moment when he introduced me the song of Taylor Swift " Tears drop on my guitar" and explained of how pity the gal in the lyric was, and my heart went "Gosh, why must it is you who tell me the meaning of the song?" Still, even though :drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see ...... And yep, till now my answer is remain the same: i prefer a piano than a guitar... ;)
Going to 3rd year for him and 2nd yr for me, things started to be changed between us, especially when he's seemed to be busier and busier while after i knew that it's kinda hard for us to go further, i tended to try not to craving to him too much but focus on my activities and events that i sometimes over-focus to the activities till i neglected studies... Here, i would like to admit that it's my fault over-involving in the activities until wat had happened in my 2nd yr had been occured... But, most of the activities i involved in, i never feel regret for joining them, though...
And things has been going along this few sems after that...Which i thought that my feeling to him would not be faded(Actually it's not yet faded, but slightly reduced as with the addition of more rasional and unconditioned love inside, lolx and i do suspect it's a habit to love as well, hehe~~), along the way, what worried me no longer present (the "fear" of he will not even be my friend or he would have avoiding me after he knew how i felt for him ) as i managed to found out he still getting along well with a junior who confess her feeling to him--> impressive huh?
Perhaps i would feel awkward because of the gal dignity/ego/arrogant in me that i possess since young. Thinking of a normal gal should never lowered her dignity for confessing toward a guy, and MUST wait for a guy to initiate that step had stopped me from telling him how i felt for such a long long time... But then, that i found out we might possibly with a high chance to stay being friends, the worries no more, thus i braved myself to wrote to him and told him how my feelings towards him for so long...Boy, that letter was long indeed~~ =) In fact, i purposely chose an April's fool day to tell him, as a backup: if he can't accept it, i would have just tell him that was a joke i was kidding him.
The result appeared to me was he sounded unsure of the possibility but then after a second confirmation required, i got a "no" as the answer, plus the condition he said he is not good at such a kind of thing...So? Of course we still remain as friends till now, and to be honest, i was kinda upset when seeing him upset too...(if he knows) Knowing his feeling from his blog, i am not sure how's the progress between him and her, but i do sense his feeling and craving for her as i m oso in the condition to wear the same shoes as his... But what can i do actually? Besides praying for his happiness and encouraging him? Is there anymore things that i can do to show my concern towards him? I know, he doesn't like much of people to be busy body, and i dun wanna show my "over-concerning" or he would thought of me being just a "kepo" or someone who interupting ppl's privacy... Should i remain at the same step and just praying for his happiness with her? Only if she can appreciate him well? Anyway as long as they are happy, i will be happy for them... Ya, think that's all i can do... and writing this blog is just some sort of diary i would like to keep a record for my life... Din had the mood to sleep again, u know la, a peaceful night with sentimental songs can tend to bring in lots of emo feelings in oneself, especially emo ppl like me... no choice~~ Please do allow me to express my feelings here, thanks.
To draw a conclusion, actually it's can be said as easy and not easy to notice if you really love someone, or that's just rather merely admire or simply like. And to know if it's ok or not to fall in love of someone in campus, well if u were also in the condition i had faced, frankly speaking, it's ok if u can manage your love life and study life and make ur love life to be your motivation, but if you are the one who is like me--> emotional and unable to control of it, suggestion is to halt the feeling and focus of ur study now... Like what i am trying to train myself to be now...finished writing my blog and hopefully can get rid of it someday, soon, once if it can be diluted~~ good luck, all~~
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